The Homemade Pepper Imps
by Mad-Mary-Flint-86
Summary: During the summer of their fourth year, Harry and Ron, having nothing better to do, decide to try out a recipie for homemade pepper imps...
1. An Impish Idea

Note from the author: Whoo-Hoo! Another story posted! This tale takes place during Harry's stay with the Weasley's during the Fourth Book. Please don't get upset that, even though this story takes place during the summer of GoF, it really doesn't have any direct relation (meaning Quidditch World Cup, etc.) to the events happening during that time. (Aside from the mention of Weasley Wizard Wheezes.) I couldn't really think of a good time to place this story, so I just picked one. And if anyone has any legitimate help for my meager and humble 'writing like I'm British' skills, (meaning terminology) feel free to let me know. I have used some American/Brit dictionaries before, but some things don't 'click' as well as I'd like them to. Just read and decide on your own. (Although, I do know that the recipe is written with American measurements... On that part I have been negligent... I will probably have to fix that soon.) smiles –Mad Mary Flint P-)  
  
Information you've probably seen before: the plot was my idea, but I do not own any of the characters, places or things. They belong to J. K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic, and Warner Bothers.  
  
Chapter One: An Impish Idea  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" asked fourteen-year-old Harry Potter, as he sat at the table in the Weasley's kitchen. He was lazily flipping though the magazine, 'The Crafty Witch', that someone had left on the table.  
  
"I don't know... What do you want to do?" replied his best friend, Ron Weasley, who was sitting across from him, his head in his hands.  
  
Harry sighed, and straitened his glasses. "I don't know."  
  
"It's a good thing that Hermione went with Mum and Ginny to Diagon Alley... She'd probably have us finish our summer homework," Ron rolled his eyes. "What do you think the train ride's for?"  
  
Harry laughed. "Fred and George are still here, aren't they?"  
  
"Yeah, but we're practically home alone," Ron said, as he looked over his shoulder, then continued in a dramatic whisper. "They're working on more of their 'Weasley Wizard Wheezes' while Mum's out."  
  
"Hmmmm..." said Harry absentmindedly, watching a picture of a motherly witch show off her perfect plate of cookies. Turning the page, a recipe caught his eye. "Here's something interesting..." he said pointing to an article. "Fancy something to eat, Ron?"  
  
"Depends on what it is..." asked Ron leaning over to look at the article.  
  
"Homemade Pepper Imps," read Harry.  
  
"Homemade?" repeated Ron, a smile beginning to spread across his freckled face. "What ingredients does it call for?" he pulled the magazine towards him.  
  
"Pepper of course, sugar... Conjuring Flour..." read Harry. "Firewhiskey... Where are we going to get Firewhiskey?"  
  
"Ummm... I think Mum and Dad keep some, somewhere...," said Ron, glancing around the kitchen.  
  
"Are we allowed to use Firewhiskey?" asked Harry. "I mean, it is an alcoholic drink..."  
  
"Relax Harry," said Ron, ginning. "All the alcohol stuff goes away when you cook it, leaving the flavor. What do you think they do about all those puddings at Christmas time?"  
  
"Oh," said Harry simply.  
  
"What else does it need?" asked Ron.  
  
"It says here, um... Saltpeter... What's that?" read Harry.  
  
"I dunno, but I think we've got some... I remember Mum using it two weeks ago, when she made some pepper-up potion for Dad."  
  
"Alright, well, what about these Exploding Jamaican peppers?"  
  
Ron shrugged. "We could always substitute... Anything else?"  
  
"Just Chili Powder."  
  
"I know we have that one... Fred and George put some on Dad's toast the other day," said Ron.  
  
"Is that why your Dad was shouting that morning?" asked Harry. "It woke me up."  
  
"Yeah," chucked Ron.  
  
Harry smiled and sighed. "Anyway, you have sugar, salamander ash, and this, uh, Conjuring Flour?"  
  
"No worries!" called Ron as he got up from the table and began to pull out bowls and spoons of all sizes from the kitchen cupboards.  
  
"Wait, there's something at the bottom," said Harry, reading further. "Caution: If mixture explodes, contact the Ministry Office of Magical Combustion immediately."  
  
"Dad's told me about that office," said Ron, climbing onto the kitchen counter, and poking his head into a cabinet. He pulled out a small burlap sack that read 'Conjuring Flour' on the front. "Said it was made up of loads of people with their eyebrows all singed off."  
  
After they had gathered all the ingredients that the recipe called for, they placed them on the table, along with the pots, bowls, measuring equipment, and spoons.  
  
"Read through the list one more time, Harry," said Ron. "Let's make sure we've gotten everything.  
  
"Uh, Firewhiskey?" read Harry.  
  
"Check!" said Ron, indicating a bottle filled with a deep orange liquid  
  
"Pepper, Salamander ash, and sugar?"  
  
"Right here, here, and here!" said Ron, tapping all three ingredients with a wooden spoon.  
  
"And the Conjuring Flour is there," said Harry glancing up. "And we have chili powder... What about exploding Jamaican peppers?"  
  
"You know what? I actually found some on the back shelf!" said Ron, holding up a small bowl, containing three glowing red, banana shaped peppers. "Although I don't have a clue as to what they were doing there."  
  
"Right, and finally, saltpeter, and a lighted candle," finished Harry.  
  
"All here! Let's get started!" said Ron, excitedly, as he slammed a pot onto the stove.  
  
"Just make sure to keep the candle away from the saltpeter..." 


	2. Dripping Identical Imps

Another note from the author: Sadly, I don't own any of the characters. They belong to other important people... mainly J. K. Rowling. Please see the beginning of the first chapter to read the spiel. And just to warn you... This chapter isn't finished... but I decided to post it anyway. — Mad Mary Flint P-)  
  
Chapter Two: Dripping Identical Imps  
  
Harry stood there, behind Ron, watching him stir the candy mixture on the stove. He held the bag of Conjuring Flour in one hand, and the bag of sugar in the other.  
  
"I think it's time to add the flour," said Ron, peering into the bowl, containing the strained mixture of Firewhiskey, pepper, Salamander ash, and Exploding Jamaican Peppers. He pulled the pot off the burner. "Go ahead pour it in."  
  
Harry measured the flour, (which looked like Muggle flour, aside from the fact that it was electric blue,) and poured it into the bowl. It sat on the surface of the liquid in a goopy island before it hissed and sank. A thin wisp of smoke drifted up from its wake, and then disappeared.  
  
"Now we stir it, right?" asked Ron.  
  
"Anti-clockwise," reminded Harry. "Until all the lumps are gone."  
  
Stirring until all the lumps are gone proved to be harder then it seemed. The liquid was strong and it melted two metal spoons, and burnt the bowl off a third wooden one.  
  
"Well, does that look like all the lumps are gone, aside from all the metal spoon bits?" asked Ron, holding out the pot for Harry to see. "I think it's good enough..."  
  
"Careful," said Harry, rubbing his nose. "It makes the inside of my nose burn... It's the all the pepper we added, I think. Anyway, what are we going to do about those spoons?"  
  
"Hide them," said Ron, putting the pot back on the burner, and turning up the heat. "If Mum sees them..." He shook his head.  
  
As Ron stirred the Pepper Imps mixture, it began to smoke a little, increasing each time as they added the chili powder and saltpeter mixture.  
  
"Do you hear that?" asked Harry, adding another spoonful as Ron stirred. "That hissing."  
  
"It's the candy," said Ron, looking at the pile of ruined spoons lying on the counter. "I think it's smoldering... Or eating through the pot... Or both..." he shook his head. "Mum is going to have a fit about these spoons!" Ron took the spoon he was using out of the pot, and held it up for Harry to see. It flopped to one side like it was made of rubber, smelling like burnt sugar. "I need another one," he said.  
  
"I can't find any more big serving spoons... I think we've used them all... Does it matter if you stir it with a fork?" said Harry, reading through the magazine article again.  
  
"As opposed to a spoon?" said Ron. "I don't know... Anyway, I think we're ready for another scoop of that chili power stuff."  
  
"It's the last one." said Harry, pouring it in and watching the smoke billow up, as the thick liquid started to bubble like molten lava. "Is it supposed to smoke like that?"  
  
"I dunno... They are supposed to be Pepper Imps, aren't they?"  
  
"Yeah, but are they supposed to fill the kitchen up with smoke?" said Harry.  
  
Ron shrugged as Crookshanks, Hermione's bandy-legged cat, walked in and rubbed against Harry's leg.  
  
"Crookshanks! Get out of here!" said Ron, trying to shoo him away, as the cat jumped onto the counter.  
  
Crookshanks took one look at the glowing orange contents of the pot Ron was stirring and began to loudly voice his opinion. He did not like what was being cooked on the stove.  
  
"Hey! Shoo!" yelled Ron over the loud boiling of the candy, and Crookshanks yowling. "It's supposed to be like this! No! Now, go away!" He waved the fork in the cat's general direction and Crookshanks backed away, knocking several spoon handles to the floor with a clatter. Three splatters of gooey candy dripped from the fork and landed on the counter with a hiss. "Fred and George will be down here in a minute, wondering what's going on..." he muttered.  
  
"If the noise doesn't draw their attention, the smell will," said Harry, sniffing the air, as Ron handed him the fork, letting him take a turn stirring the candy.  
  
"Something's burning..." said Harry, as Ron scooped up Crookshanks and put him outside. "Oh no, Ron! Look!" Harry pointed to the counter.  
  
There, were the candy had dripped on the counter, were three small smoking holes where the candy liquid had eaten away that counter.  
  
Ron paled. "Mum is going to kill me..." he looked at the bubbling liquid in the pot, and Harry held up the drooping metal fork, its prongs pointing in four different directions. "That's just great..." Ron shook his head.  
  
"Is there anything left to do?" asked Harry, as he resumed stirring with a new fork.  
  
"Only dipping the lighted candle into the candy," said Ron, fingering the candlestick. "But I'm starting to think that this isn't such a great idea after all... What if..." his voice trailed off..  
  
Ron sighed. "I suppose Pepper Imps are supposed to burn through things... Let's just finish them. Mum will be able to fix the counter, it's not like something like this hasn't happed before... Can I have a turn stirring again?"  
  
Harry handed Ron the fork, and gave the recipe another quick read-through. "It looks like we're almost finished!" he said, watching Ron stir the fiery concoction  
  
"Good."  
  
"Ron!" Harry suddenly exclaimed.  
  
Ron jumped, splattering more liquid candy on to the counter. "Harry! Look what you made me do!" he cried. "What is it?"  
  
"You're stirring the wrong way!" Harry shouted.  
  
"Whoops!" said Ron inhaling sharply, as the contents in the pot made a belching noise, emitting a rather large mushroom cloud of smoke.  
  
Coughing, Harry ran across the Weasley kitchen to open a window, trying to let out some of the smoke that was rapidly filling the kitchen.  
  
"Oy, Ron!" called one of the twins from upstairs. "Is the house on fire? What's going on down there?"  
  
"No! We're just... cooking!" Ron shouted back.  
  
There was no reply, but Harry heard the banging and scraping of moving furniture, and what sounded like several water faucets running.  
  
"We're coming!" yelled the twins, as Harry heard them run down the stairs, with several thumps and crashes, followed by a watery sloshing sound. "We don't want a repeat of the last time Ron tried to cook!"  
  
"Gangway!" shouted Fred and George together, as they ran into the kitchen. Each twin had a pail slung over one arm, and a sopping wet towel on the other. Both of them carried a dresser drawer that had been filled with water. Dripping socks hung over the side of one, and a pair of trousers hung out of the other. A long trail of water followed them into the kitchen.  
  
"Stop! Wait! No!" shouted Ron, stepping in front of the twins, leaving the candy to smolder on the stove. "Whoa!" he cried, slipping on the water that had been spilled on the floor. Sliding forward, he crashed into Fred and George, just as they were winding up to toss the water.  
  
Endnote from Author: Whoa! Sorry to end on a sort of cliffhanger! I will post more! (I just wanted to put it up to see what others thought so far...)  
  
Any questions, comments, concerns, suggestions, dedications, disclaimers, or smart remarks? Please review! (I'm really trying to figure how I can make this story funnier...) –Mad Mary Flint P-) 


	3. Recipe for Homemade Pepper Imps

Author's note: This is the recipe I made up for 'The Homemade Pepper Imps'. I really don't recommend trying this at home, (if you were so inclined). I just thought up the measurements and things that could go in it. I invented the Exploding Jamaican Peppers and the Wizard's Flour myself. And yes, I know it is written in American measurements. I'm probably going to have to do some changing soon. –Mad Mary Flint P-)  
  
Recipe for Homemade Pepper Imps  
  
1 pt of boiled Firewhiskey  
  
2½ tsp ground pepper  
  
1 cup of salamander ash  
  
3 cups of sugar  
  
¾ cup Conjuring Flour  
  
1 cup chili powder  
  
3 Exploding Jamaican Peppers, finely diced  
  
A pinch of saltpeter  
  
A lighted candle  
  
Boil 1 pint of Firewhiskey with 2 ½ teaspoons of pepper. Add the salamander ash, and Exploding Jamaican Peppers. Let boil for 3 minutes then remove from heat. Separate the boiled liquid from the dregs, and pour in ¾ cup of Conjuring Flour, stirring anti-clockwise, until lumps are gone. Bring back to a boil, and slowly add the 3 cups of sugar. Boil until mixture becomes thick and syrupy.  
  
In a separate bowl, mix the 1 cup of chili powder and saltpeter. Add 1 teaspoon to boiling mixture at three-minute intervals, stirring clockwise.  
  
Boil until mixture turns bright red, with orange bubbles. Usually 5 or 6 minutes after the last of the chili powder/saltpeter has been stirred in. Next, take a lighted candle and dowse the flame in the liquid. If flame goes out, boil for 5 more minutes. If flame does not go out, the Pepper Imps are ready. Ladle small drops of candy mixture onto a fireproof surface and let harden.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Caution: If mixture explodes, contact the Ministry Office of Magical Combustion immediately! 


End file.
